You Cannot Make Everyone Happy; You Are Not Pizza

You Cannot Make Everyone Happy. Trying to make everyone happy usually fills you with stress and anger. You become resentful, and true communication starts to erode, damaging relationships. Standing up for yourself and expressing your desires and opinions takes strength and a deep understanding of who you are and what you will accept.

In the "Knowing Who You Are" chapter of Stepping Stones Creating Personal Integrity, I discuss the difficulty of standing behind your beliefs and convictions. It's hard to say no when you don’t want to participate in a situation that feels wrong. As parents, it's crucial to teach our children to trust their instincts and not follow if they feel uncomfortable. I always told my children not to follow someone if it felt wrong and to "not follow stupid."

Learn to say no without feeling the need to explain. Most people end up in unwanted situations because they can't explain themselves comfortably. "No" should always be enough. When you can say no without an explanation, people will stop expecting one. Practice replying with, "Why is it important that you know my reason? I just won’t be able to, and I would appreciate your respect for that." If you want to be tougher, simply say, "Why do you need to know that?" This is not rude; it's setting boundaries. Not everyone needs to know your business.