Stepping stones cREATING pERSONAL iNTEGRITY
sTEPPING STONES Creating Personal Integrity by
DEBBIE Greer CHAMBERLAIN
In Stepping Stones Creating Personal Integrity, Debbie provides five significant strategies to help the reader on their journey. By following these five steps, the reader can begin to change their path into a life of integrity, setting goals, increased faith, practicing forgiveness and accountability. You don’t have to be a victim when you put in the work of changing your mindset, and being honest about the decisions and choices you have made along the way. Recognizing the patterns you continue to repeat over and over again takes discipline as well as a honest inventory of who you are and a desire to change. Debbie had a childhood in which she was abused, neglected and twice abandoned. Yet she knows her past made her who she is today. She shares her wisdom and journey in her book.
You Cannot Make Everyone Happy
“You Cannot Make Everyone Happy, You Are Not Pizza”
Trying to make everyone happy will usually fill you with stress and anger. You become resentful and true communication starts to erode, damaging relationships. Standing up for yourself and expressing your desires and opinions takes strength and a deep understanding of who you are and what you will accept.
In the "Knowing Who You Are" chapter of Stepping Stones Creating Personal Integrity, I discuss the difficulty of standing behind your beliefs and convictions. It's hard to say no when you don’t want to participate in a situation that feels wrong. As parents, it's crucial to teach our children to trust their instincts and not follow if they feel uncomfortable. I always told my children not to follow someone if it felt wrong and to "not follow stupid."
Learn to say no without feeling the need to explain. Most people end up in unwanted situations because they can't explain themselves comfortably. "No" should always be enough. When you can say no without an explanation, people will stop expecting one. Practice replying with, "Why is it important that you know my reason? I just won’t be able to, and I would appreciate your respect for that." If you want to be tougher, simply say, "Why do you need to know that?" This is not rude; it's setting boundaries. Not everyone needs to know your business.
There Will Always Be a Reason Why You Meet People
"Either you need them to change your life or you are the one who will change theirs." — Lessons Learned in Life
I have always had an intuition or instinct about people when I first meet them, sensing whether they will play an important part in my life, or I in theirs, somewhere down the road. This feeling has proven true time and again, as many have indeed played significant roles in my life, and I in theirs.
Equally important is the negative or "icky" feeling about certain people whom I choose not to allow into my life. These emotions can be valuable when meeting new people. In my book and seminars, I emphasize "Knowing Who You Are." One key reason for this is that our lives can be drastically altered by allowing someone in, either positively or negatively. Maya Angelou’s quote, "When people show you who they are, believe them," resonates deeply with me. People will always reveal their true selves. It is our job to take them at their word or actions and accept the person they show us, rather than making excuses and overlooking red flags.
Let's talk about "women's intuition" for a moment. Is a woman’s gut feeling always, right? The answer is both yes and no. Our thoughts and emotions may be correct or completely wrong. It's crucial to assess our experiences, identify when we are right about a person or situation, and learn to listen to that small voice or loud scream inside. People will always show you who they are. Believe them.
The Memo: Controlling our Anger
"We need to be better than what angers us" Brad Melzer
Seriously, if you are not able to control your anger that is created in your life, then you are not able to control your life, at least in a positive way. You are missing out on one of the most important parts of training yourself and your mind in a way that will create more opportunities, favor and advantages in your life.
Learning to control your emotions will enable you to remove a great deal of stress, wrong choices and decisions in your life. Losing your emotions or overreacting in any situation can and normally will make you the loser in that moment. Learning to control your emotions is as important as practicing changing any other part of your body.
You must continually work on developing how you respond in any situation when learning to control your reactions. When going to the gym and doing setups, pull ups or trying to lose weight you must train your body. The mind can be trained as well. You will become better at handling your emotions with time and training.
How:
Count to 10, 15, 20….(this method could and most likely has saved numerous people from going to prison. I believe that if you ask any number of people in prison if they had waited just 15 or 20 seconds they would not have ended up there.)
See a STOP SIGN in your mind and remind yourself to think first.
- Think about the outcome, what is the loss, is it worth it?
- Is it more important to you to be better, more in control of your life or more important to be right and heard?
#debgreerchamberlain #motivationalspeaker #selfimprovement #angermanagement
Reviewed by Philip Van Heusen for Readers' Favorite:
Every journey begins with a step. Too often, the journey is not completed because the pilgrim does not continue to move forward. In Stepping Stones: Creating Personal Integrity, Debbie Greer Chamberlain provides five significant strategies to help the reader on their journey. By following these five steps, the reader can change their path into a life of integrity, love, responsibility, forgiveness, and accountability. You don’t have to be a victim when you learn how valuable you are and how to rise above your past. Debbie had a childhood with many disadvantages, yet she knew her past made her who she is. Following her five steps, she learned how to forgive and forged ahead to find success. Blaming setbacks on others will never lead you to succeed. Instead, take responsibility and learn how to move forward. Many people blame their failures on their past. Like Debbie Greer Chamberlain, many had an unbearable childhood, but they must all accept responsibility for their choices. Debbie made the right choices and in Stepping Stones she shares her wisdom. First, take the time to discover who you are and what you stand for. Then, reprogram your way of thinking. Finally, focus on the five steps: acceptance and forgiveness, knowing who you are and what boundaries you will enforce, determination, developing goals, and having faith and hope. When people learn how to forgive, they free themselves to grow into an individual of value and worth. Some of these steps may seem difficult and require hard work, but in the end, you will be glad you made the effort. Even though our past influences us, it does not define us.
Reviews:
Just finished your book on my flight into Nashville. WOW! You really laid your heart out in this book. Amazing and I’m so glad you wrote it. Everyone could benefit from reading this book as a reminder of what is possible in life.
I love your section on “that’s not fair”. Spot on!! Frequently life is unfair. But as you said you have to deal with what is thrown at you and keep moving forward. Very well written and anxiously waiting for the next book. 🤗Tammy
Bernice This is a book that I've shared with friends, clients and family I feel that everybody can benefit from reading "Stepping Stones Creating Personal Integrity." For me there were so many awe ha moments that made you want to learn more. Thank YOU for writing an amazing book. My only regret is that you had to go through so much heartache as small child that it still breaks my heart. You are truly an amazing wonderful person and I'm glad to have you as my friend. Love You.
Gloria Ann This book will impact your life and the others you share it with! I’ve already gifted several friends who have benefited greatly. Love you Debbie! You’re such a blessing to all who know you!
About debbie
Debbie Greer Chamberlain has combined her talent of building strong and lasting relationships with her passion of motivating and encouraging others. Debbie was raised in a nontraditional environment. She and her siblings were placed in a Children’s Home at the age of eleven. She credits this unique upbringing as a contributing factor to her ability to relate and build relationships with people. The exceptional experience of living and growing up around over 100 different children and personalities, as a young child through her teenage years, had a huge impact on her compassion and quick understanding of people on a deeper level.
Debbie has served on various Boards of Directors, committees, volunteered, raised funds and has spoken to different groups over the years to inspire and motivate people to challenge themselves to create personal integrity in their lives. She has been a vital part of businesses development in five different companies, two of which she was a partner.
Through seminars and public speaking, she hopes to provide women, youth, and anyone struggling to overcome adversity with the keys to her success. She has combined a lifetime of life lessons with wisdom and applicable activities to help attendees accept their realities, visualize their futures, set goals and action plans, forgive those that hurt them and to find daily tools to help them fulfill God’s purpose for their life.
Contact us.
debbiechamberlain800@yahoo.com
615 347 3036
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“MEMOS: CHOICES AND CHANGES”
Forgiveness is the First Step in Healing
Quote: "Forgiveness is born of increased awareness. The more you can see, the easier it is to forgive." — Deepak Chopra (The Path of Love)
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and to those you love. It doesn’t mean you accept or condone the behavior of the person who has wronged you, nor does it mean you forget. If you continue to harbor bitterness and hatred in your mind and soul, you are giving the person who hurt you control over your emotions and reactions. Healing is impossible without forgiveness.
A powerful activity to try is praying for the person you want to forgive. The catch is not to ask God to help you forgive, which is a common approach. Instead, pray for this person as you would for a loved one. Pray that God extends His grace, favor, and blessings upon them. Do this daily for a month. Initially, you might struggle with the words, thinking, "I can’t ask God to bring the best for this person." However, with pure heart and intention, your perspective will change. You will feel the heaviness lift, your heart will soften, and the pain and hurt will begin to release.